Once again I've proven I'm alive.
Drawing the knife sharpened fresh
ever so gently across my flesh
shaking on the inside
fearful of suicide
yet silently wishing death would come.
Taking pills to ease my pain
erasing my subtle shame
to overdose is so grandiose
laying in bed covered up freezing
seeing the light as I float above
praying not to die
yet wanting to pass silently.
My fear is death,
yet I fear not how I reach the end.
Suicidal adorations speak volumes
I listen frightenend
as a child fearful of his abusive father.
I wish death would come when I least expect it,
but with regret, I feel it's grasp upon me now.
Put me out of my misery
so helpless today
can't partake of anything
feeling so empty inside
not worried about losing my life
the Lord won't take me yet.
I just want a woman to hold
to help me along my way
hope is released
I gotta bad feeling
don't really know why
not scared to die
yeah they won't fuck with me,
(This poem is dedicated to my friend Steve whom we call CrazyLegs)